Dear Desiree

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Hey you! By the time your able to read this…I certainly hope your are feeling well and ready to take on the world. This month has been great! And you were right beside me while all this greatness was happening.

You see, your old mans birthday just passed March 26th and on top of that the anniversary of me and your mother passed March 24th. I promise you that the dates were never planned. You see your mother and I met back in the year 1997 if I remember  that correctly, give or take a year. Our high school encounter. One of my real good friends at the time had a thing for your mothers best friend. And that is when I saw her.

I’m not sure what type of special effects they will have around the time you are all grown up, but I compare that vision to an angel descending down with a halo outline of the full body. Yes you might have guessed it, in my 13 years of life I have never witnessed that type of presence. I knew at that time she’d be the one. My good friend as my witness was told at that very moment.

As you probably know by now, your old man has no problems talking to anyone about any one particular thing, but your mother, as much as I enjoyed the sight of her energy and presence, I feared it too!

It has something to do with acceptance. Someone that you know holds a special purpose for you (even when the other party does not know it), how do you speak to them, how do you rock. To this person your first impression may be your last impression and everything counts. I was afraid of rejection so I did nothing but dream. I couldn’t get her off my mind.

The funny thing about soulmates and fate,  to me is, if its meant to be, it will certainly find its way to you. So many moons and a score later (all within the same year) my friend became boyfriend to your moms best friend. In our time we were to young to say dating or be more mature about it, so we called it boyfriend/girlfriend.   For me this meant, my fear would be around a lot, your mother, her friend and my friend. I ran away I couldn’t muster the strength to conquer my new found fear.

But one day while my friend and I was on our way to football practice, yells your mothers name (she was on her way to tennis practice) and dashes for the football practice field. So guess what happens next, she turns around and see’s me and says hey!

Now I’ve never been so terrified in my life, one on one encounter with my fear. I do not believe that I even looked her in her eye while we held a longer than life conversation (must have been less than 5 minutes but for me an eternity).  The whole time I just kept my head down while we talked, but this is how I first learned her name…Monique, and I say, my name is Jamarow but friends call me Jay. (keep in mind all this with my head down) this could have been a bad thing for me because women like men who have confidence, (or so I’m told) not that I didn’t have any, I just didn’t know how to face my fear with confidence. That experience taught me the hardest thing I will encounter in life is having to face something that I was not to sure was at all possible.  Sometimes you have to fight through all of the chatter in your mind to do what you cant for your dream to come true or eliminate fear.  The really great leaders find a way to gain an ability to conquer themselves and their  dream, or you will be stuck in a circle until you are able to do so.

Any who, although I never looked your mother in the eye I managed to ask her for her number, I had no paper no pen but I had a dollar bill. Which for me was hard to come by, yet she had a pencil and wrote her number on a dollar bill and if I am not mistaken I wrote mine on the other half ripped the dollar and gave her the piece with my number. (I still have my half, hopefully Ill be able to show it to you some day) and this my daughter is where the magic of learning your mother began.

The really good part about something that’s meant to be, is that it never matters how far you travel apart if both parties want it, the world will see you to it again. I say this because when me and your mother became official boyfriend/girlfriend we had about 4 years to really learn each other without the mundane task of having to mix it up with grown up life. It was just us against the world when our parents did not convene. But we really took the time to understand each other and we were able to build something very special.

Well after high school graduation your mother had left for upstate New York to pursue her dream of dance and theater. I on the other hand signed up for the United States Navy. So there was a 4 1/2 year period where your mother and I did not speak or see each other. Of course we connected through letters but once I was stationed in a single spot we were able to reconnect and share all of the new experiences in our lives. We were back in the swing of things we talked of marriage, dates, etc…but due to my obligation with the service we had to cancel plans a couple of times, my command would always be called for deployment. So when we had a chance to make it happen, we made it happen- March 24th 2007 official in the eyes and law of the land.

This is a short story of how I met your mother. But in celebration we always wanted to visit Washington D.C. and we were able to do that with you as a family this past weekend and it was an incredible sentimental moment, especially with my birthday following right behind. The memories just flood all the right spaces.

I thought it would be fitting to share my side of the story on how your mother and I met for this months letter.

But lets talk a little about you, wow you are growing up pretty fast and I admire and enjoy your development so far. You really enjoy group hugs with me and your mother you always hold your arms out for us to receive the love. This is a moment I need to find a way to capture just once. You understand what shoes are now, we can tell you where we are trying to go and you will then grab your shoes. You are beginning to understand what you want and boy do you let us have it when we can’t figure it out exactly. Its like playing a game of charades. You received your first hair style or should I say second. Normally we let you rock the Afro it looks so becoming on you, but your hair was recently braided and you in the beginning could not stop touching your hair. Every time we asked if you liked it, you lit up with the biggest smile, struck a pose, while feeling your hair and saying mhmm. 🙂 Your singing songs from Frozen and Adele. You break out in a full hum when you cannot pronounce the words. You used the potty all on your own one day this month. These are just a few of your benchmarks that stand out to me now. You are at this time 1 year or 20 months old to be exact.

I am still counting, still observing, still living so until the next letter I hope that you are in the best of best moods 🙂

Love Dad.


4 responses to “Dear Desiree

  1. What a wonderful, wonderful legacy to leave Desiree. That was so romantic, to share all those memories with her. “To this person your first impression may be your last impression and everything counts.” BOY! That struck a chord in me!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There are seldom moments where I am not to sure how to act because I know that it all counts. Im pretty comfortable being me, but there are some you come across where you wonder if you are good enough.

    Liked by 1 person

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