It has been a while since I last wrote. Partly because life has taken its toll and I really had to figure out somethings for myself. Basically a blueprint on how to move forward. You know there are times in life when you will have to evaluate yourself, reflect and proclaim all that you are and want to be. You do not necessarily have to set a standard just have a plan of action. And most of all know how to measure it.
What are these things that I had to measure. Well the most important thing is you very first birthday. You know I moved around a lot. Being that I was in the military it (kind of how we ended up here in New York) was second nature. There was no mountain to high no valley low, good luck trying to keep me from trekking forward. Most of everything that I do is for everyone else. Thats at least what those close family members tell me. So every once in a while I have to figure out what I am doing for self. What am I doing to keep myself moving forward.
But that’s besides the point, back to your birthday. I haven’t really had the chance to make the type of friends that I would like. I guess I am living in the past. As folks get older it’s a little harder to get into certain circles because of the experiences people have (my own and theirs) the flight of social media probably has me thinking more highly of those that I converse with in what I actually enjoy doing in the electronic universe, versus the people that surround me during work every day. Not to mention I just want to hang out with you anyway. I suppose that’s life though, so your birthday will be one spent with the family, (people tell me I am supposed to have other kids around, but at this point you’re going to be one, and I want that experience with you more than sharing it with other little brilliant friends) in a few years you will rather have an all out party with your friends so I may be a bit selfish in wanting the celebrations with you and the family a little close knit. (I wonder if it will rub off later) while I can.
Of course we have to decipher what to get you, should it be learning toys, should it be fun toys, things that will make you a good citizen. Right now I just want you to enjoy playing and learning so perhaps both.
Other things are getting some money saved for your future. There are somethings people value in life and while the values that monetary things does not rank high on my list (dont get me wrong love nice things and toys, gadgets, and gizmos) I understand the need to have something to back you up. While going through all this thinking and plotting I realized, I was following the societal norm graduate high school, find a job, get married, further your education, keep up with the joneses for what ever reason, have kids, keep up with the joneses.
For me keeping up with the joneses is buying my first car all by myself. Brand spanking new, I realize now that I really didnt need a car there are other methods of transportation. I am realizing that I want to invest in things that do not depreciate, that is education, in ourselves, maybe some land. Instead i get a car that depreciates the moment you take it off the lot. For 40k I could have started a business and grew it and dealt with those struggles instead of dealing with struggles of affording a car payment.
That makes me wonder what type of person you will be and what you will value. Most say that it will be up to me and your mother to set that path. But really you will have to find that out for yourself. And what ever decision you make I want to be there to support it. So that means, now I have to help you by helping me and that’s been racking the brain alot.
So as I prepare for your first birthday, which I hope you will enjoy. I plan on giving you a world of opportunities, decisions, questions, challenges that you will have to answer for yourself. Because the best way of learning is going through the fire like the rest of us. And when you make it out that fire you discover more about yourself what you stand for and what you want.
I think this is what people spend lifetimes looking for.
Well until I write again, I will always be here loving you.