My dream as far as I know it, is to be a writer. Now immediately my thought is that writing does not pay the bills (not right away at least). It could be that the movies are constantly giving starving writers a bad name. It is the one thing I think about when I wake up, and the one thing I think about before going to sleep. I don’t always contribute to this dream as I would like. Countless books indicate that there should be some type of routine established daily. This is what will keep the juices flowing. But I don’t have any particular routine. I am often very invested in my writing, so for me the perfect head space, and mood is a must, maybe even a need to properly set my genius in action, after all one should be proud of their words right? I often struggle with the thought- am I writing for you? or am I writing for me.
Personal beliefs have me thinking, I am sharing myself with the world, one word at a time. I have yet to discover my voice in person, in physical form I like to think of myself as a renaissance man, in writing though don’t you have to be a God? Dont get all nervous about this statement, I mean it in the sense of the writer is the creator, our/my only intention is to either have you open your mind, provoke thought, or embed a memory of some serious standing emotion. I want to inspire, I want to get it all out of you, and at times I want to entertain, and maybe even agree at times. To me, I would be a great writer if I could do all the above at once.
My biggest struggle is one that I am not sure many writers have. It’s the question, is my writing good enough? When I pass will I be remembered, will anyone have read me or paid any type of significant attention. Not all stories catch someones fancy, so then how could mine compare with some of the most prolific poets. Their is style, there is delivery, their is a lot of rules to writing, some of the best break almost every single one of them.
As the thought sits on my brain I sit here and wonder, with no discredit to anyone that follows my writing, Is my writing even good enough. No I haven’t written books, yet I do fancy poems. I plan on a book but it seems I toss everything as soon as its written down. This blog sometimes makes me think how much I should value my work. If I was to create a book with the 50 or so poems here, that someone could read for free, would they support the dream and buy the collection of my works, and how often would they refer to the life lessons, the feelings or the emotions to help them in life.
I even thought about writing articles, but I am not particularly moved to write about anything that’s going on. To me, that serves as a boring piece of words compounded together to make sense of nothing that I actually care to comment on or read. Most things I like to read whether it be government, world news, or even personal have to amuse me. I dont know how to reach that reader, I don’t know how to be observant enough to establish how I reach my own readers.
I am inclined to sit around and think about various things all at once but right now my mind is stuck on one thing, how to figure out if what you love to do is even good enough, and who should define it?
Photo Credit| https://www.flickr.com/photos/kaushiknarasimhan/4504860888