Ive been working on trying to find myself. I use to think this concept sounded pretty funny. Self is always there looking at you in mirror. Talking to you, as your trying to focus on more important matters of the day. How do I look, how much money do I have, why, what happens when, you know the constant mind chatter that happens.
I don’t believe I have ever taken the time to get to know me. And to tell you the truth its a very hard thing to do. I mean, when is the last time you’ve listened to yourself. Sat down in a complete quiet place and just thought about anything long enough to learn your likes or your dislikes. I am sure there are a lot of outside influences that say you should like this or that, however is that you.
This is what I am currently trying to figure out. In my last post I touched on trying to get into this yoga life. Let me tell you it is not all that it is cracked up to be. One, I am really not flexible, Two, I don’t like waking up sore-I played sports and never experienced this type of soreness from a stretch. Anywho I read somewhere, that between the practice of yoga and meditation, the long term effects happen once you have established an every day practice. This is when you truly get to supposedly witness the benefits.
My journey is long and something that I cannot wait to experience. So far it has lead me to push myself to just write what is on my mind. I was struggling for topics, to tell you the truth I am interested in a lot of things but I am not passionate about writing about a lot of things. This use to bother me. I made my self think that being a great writer meant one had to be able to write about anything, everything, and on the spot without any struggle or problems. That’s just not my skill set. I cant write about anything, I need to feel and be woven into the topic.
That is just my style. I even worried about if all of you other great writers I admire out there would like what I have to say and comment and so forth. One of the most important things that I have learned the hard way is, if your not ok with you, then how can you expect anyone else to be ok with you.
On that note I also learned something else I think is very important. There really is nothing to it but to do it. Spread your wings and see how much you like it, how free it feels. You might just touch some one or inspire some one to just be great. That has been my motto so far this month. Just let me be great.
I do not mean in the sense of to the world but just to yourself. Be confident. Learn to be confident in what you do. No one has the power over what you think greatness is, and to be honest this will probably be the thing that sets you a part in the end from everyone else. I guess somewhere in the past I was feeling like a robot. letting others control me and my movements.
Well I have a new lease on life. and I will do my best to make sure that I am consistent in completing my own beliefs understanding what I value, share that with the world and let the world move my understanding to either affirm or change.
Most of all lets do something because we want to do it. I am tired of supporting everyone elses dream. Working at a job where I cannot control my future or my families future. I am supporting someones dream yet neglecting my own. Now that doesnt sound right does it? And while that is cool and all for a moment of time as employee’s rarely get the respect or the recognition they deserve by helping someone secure the stronghold of their dream. Its time to focus on me. you. we . us.
Of course its a bit easier said than done. I wonder if this is something we all have to come to learn and grow from or if this is just a timing thing. What ever it is I have my good days and lord knows I have my bad ones. However every time I spill my thoughts on a page it seems to make things alright so this has got to be a start.