He awoke startled. Jumping to his feet, quickly noticing there was nothing to see. Surrounded by darkness a fear began to sit evenly along the flesh of his skin. His senses were becoming a bit more magnified, he felt the tiny bumps running along his forearm, and though his skin was a bit moist there couldn’t have been any water near, so he sampled the substance by grazing his arm and sticking his tongue out just enough to taste the tip of his index finger, a salty substance, it was then he realized he was soiled with sweat. He began to think where am I, how did I get here, and how do I get out.
I remember thinking, this has to be a joke?
However, this was the biggest mistake one could ever make. Thoughts manifest into reality, and his confused state given the current circumstance, kept him blind in this dark place.
“I will not lie to you, the darkness permeated through out this whole area. I have grown hysterical for some type or form of light, but at the time I did not know-thats what I had been searching for. I could not see, I could feel nothing beneath me but cold damp stone mixed with a moist sand.”
He was subject to this darkness for what felt like an eternity, before he could muster up what was believed to be a sane thought, the fear and panic started to settle.
From what I could tell there were no walls, no ceiling, nor was it cold or hot, it was just right. I was not sore, nor did I suffer any aches or pains from any kind of struggle, nor was I hungry. These few observations did not make sense to me, was I being held against my will? was I kidnapped and placed in an undisclosed abode. Since I was not hungry, how long have I been here?
As more questions began to flood his mind, he began wasting time and energy, frantically using his hands, digging up sand. When he got tired of this he ran with his hands stretched out, and when he felt nothing within his grasp… another thought manifests, emotional instability.
Its weird how feelings of time passing stirs irrevocable fear, because after the absence of sight, and now the desertion of normalcy, no corners, walls or anything that could graze my hand, no given sense of direction, or even feeling different textures greet my feet, nervously running in and out of a panic stricken hysteria, not knowing if movement was worse than staying still. Whats the point of being trapped without the sense of being enclosed.
It took me a while to realize the only sense taken from me was that of sight, all my handicaps unknown. The worst part about it all, is you never realize what alone really feels like, until you are completely abandoned by every sense of the word.
That is when I began to cry. Helpless, lost, defeated… will I make it out of here? is this how its suppose to end?
at that moment a slight feeling of hope overcame me. One that lies dormant within. So scarce but enough to garner the sensation of a good feeling. I started to remember the skill sets earned by wages of youth. All flooding my mind at once, like the time my cousin said if I remember correctly,
“you are the calmest person I know when challenged with diversity”
I couldn’t help but think this is the perfect time to get back to being me. I remember playing hide and seek with my friends, I remember no one could hide from me, my intuition and instincts were always spot on. I just needed something, a clue, a smell, anything that could potentially lead me into a direction worth while. I also remember my love for getting lost and exploring my way back to the path. It is not the ideal circumstance, but I also remember my mother saying
“positive energy and thoughts begets positive returns.”
If I can somehow turn my negatives into positives I can work my self out of here.
All I remember next, waking up. Interesting enough it was still dark but I still had my hopeful bearings. As I sat there with no thoughts or bright ideas, I began running my hands through the sand. I never realized how soothing this felt. Calming, so much that I lost myself in the act, breathing, and letting my hands blend through the sand as if it were the finest of wines. Then all of a sudden I began to hear the piercing rhythms of my heart beat, I could hear my breath cut through the dense thick air like daggers ripping through skin, I heard the sands spilling through my hands, individually grain by grain-, pitter, pat, pitter, patter, patter,pit as if it were a storms cold rain hitting the ground. Thats when it happened, I heard the remnants of what sounded like drops of water creating the most musical of sounds.
It was faint but I heard this same sound,once- when my father was teaching me to fish. He said I had to be one with the water, to realize that it not only reflects, but responds. He said every thing talks to us if we have the will to listen.
I could not tell its origin, but I thought if I could get to that place I would be that much closer to finding a way out. I stood to my feet it took a while for me to regain that same quietness, or say desperation, where I first found clarity in the excitement of movement other than my own, it was just enough to lose grasp of sound… I had to compose myself mentally, mind body and soul if I was to make it.
I began on my journey sure to drive my feet into the sand, I thought if I could leave some form of track behind it will help me not follow the same path should it lead to no where. I also counted every step I took I figured If I came across an immovable object it would help me figure out the area of space I was in, I also hoped this will help my focus so that my mind wouldn’t stray to far and cause me to give up automatically.
That focus did not seem to help or last past a few minutes, I found my mind wandering exploring the depths of all the possibilities this new journey could take me. What would I find once light re-introduced itself to me? I was searching for a while and all i could hear is the melodic noise of drops of water falling into what I imagined to be a sea of water and filled with fields of deformed rubble and invisible reefs. maybe even fish to eat. There really was not a breeze but with every step I became colder, and colder, and colder. Until at the speed of light, my emotions all crashed with fear and terror. I fell abruptly… I could not tell if I was dreaming of stars, because while I was falling I have seen spots of small like lights but it happen so fast it seemed as if I was seeing streams of light before I broke the plane of a large body of water.