Missing In Action



___________________________________________________________________________A tear stained heart left however broken
could not match the whole sum of my soul
filled full of total empty space
I don’t know you, don’t know why,therefore I’m at a lost
for myself
Im trying
but love is lost
and that lost love is held captive somewhere
and I’m determined to find this disgraced arithmetic
that makes me up
cradled between certain uncertainties
countless desires, needs unmet
wants never set
a bastard child with feelings of neglect
so I try
to field the void filled with equal pieces of you
act out thoughts,fantasies
creating lies on the whys, secret cries
every time I see a friend stare blank at their fathers
saying Hi
I retreat in my mind
wondering where my hello went
selfish sons take for granted what having a father meant
So I try
to beat you out of my mind
declaring strong will-and I will be much better than what I was left
equaling a sum greater than you
stronger, yet I fear that its you that my dreams speak
every time I see you’re missing in action
reality holding on for a sublime glimpse
seeking hints or reflections of you
in me
I am her son shadowing undefined
unidentified face
nothing to do with you
so I try
to find me defined in my best image
to erase traces of your mistakes
because now I’ve grown and the need of you
has been replaced with needing me
I’ve explored these soup kitchens
trying to grow trying to find my mold
in this melting pot
stirred with missing parts
Im trying
not to build myself from the remnants of
what I have been through
her smile
his stature
our views
experiences
I have learned to use everything I could
disguising chamelionizing
manipulating thoughts so that I
may move on
building more than a vision of you
To give my family what I’ve always wished
A father to take part
in my Hello

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8 responses to “Missing In Action

  1. Pingback: ¿Qué pasa? – What’s happening? | THE UNEXPECTED JOURNEY·

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