Suicide Note

I have been sitting here wracking my brain on what I could write about for my second post. I try to at least put up two post. As I am going through my reader commenting on the writings I’ve come to like I came across this post by Slade Wilson |Dear Alex and it got me thinking of a plethora of things.

First I am scared to say that I felt the letter was beautiful and heartfelt. The words all fit together in a painful sorrow.  And because I am reading it, my perception did double takes, I began filling in blanks on why a letter like this could be wrote.  I ultimately thought it a suicide note.  My imagination gets the best of me somtime but this overwhelming feeling of some soul pouring out because the journey is getting tough for whatever reason had me think.

Of all the suicide notes out there, is this a writer trying to shed insight of feelings and why these acts of taking our own lives are carried out?  It got me thinking is this a true letter that was posted on wordpress in search of some type of response. Will my comment save a life, after feeling this type of feeling could I go on and ignore to comment. I noted that no responses were given yet, and  maybe people haven’t had the chance to look it over yet, but if by some small saving grace we are able to help rescue, confide or deter a human from such an act would a comment be too much to do or ask of a person. Could this comment change the course of an action.  I couldn’t walk away I had to pour my soul out in a comment and ultimately a post.

I never witnessed personally a suicide note, but in my imagination this is what one would look like- minus my beautiful take on a tragic event that could possibly happen in moments.  While I don’t know if this letter is a result of a personal truth or feeling I felt a duty to let the writer, the person, the human know that someone is always there to help out, its a matter of noticing the que’s and that sounds all wrong to me, but how do you notice an act like this before it happens.  Especially from some one your just getting to know through writing.

Any who check out the post, let me know your take on it, how did it make you feel.  I am just one person and this is how I received the write,  It will be interesting to see if I was right in an assessment or if my imagination has taken me all the way to the left again as it usually does.

I want to say I hope you enjoy it, but in a deeper sense I really hope that you don’t.  A suicide note may be a very good written expression of emotions that one may be going through but the torment of dealing with it will last a life time.  Definitely would not be perceived as beautiful if the latter was true.


15 responses to “Suicide Note

  1. It seems the question is that without the love and acceptance of those close to us, is life worth living? Profound. I cannot imagine the depths of such despair. Your concern of his well being is a reflection of your kind soul.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You know we hear so many stories of how one could have averted their plan just by someone saying hey I see you I am here. If thats the least I could do, especially without knowing someone personally I will lend my efforts as best I can.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I totally understand your views regarding the anxiety that if you would leave a comment, maybe the other person will feel the human connection they need and will have a reason to change their mind. My mode of thinking is the same. I went to the post and one of the tags is “flash”, so I’m hoping very much that it’s just a short “flash-fiction” style piece. But I will leave a comment too. Do let us know if yours is moderated or replied to? When I first read the piece, I thought the ending was uplifted and hopeful in an almost anti-suicide sense. But after reading your interpretation, I can certainly see how the ending does not necessarily mean the speaker is going to carry on living in the literal sense. Hoping for the best.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This post has generated, quite a lot of attention, time to set the fact straights.
    a) I am still alive, and this is NOT a suicide note, though it is a cry for attention. For acceptance.
    b) I appreciate your kind support and attention in a way that can hardly be described.
    Now that I have clarified that, I will share the story of Why and When I wrote this letter.
    This letter is addressed to Alexandra Hunt, a girl I have known for almost three years now, of whom I once proudly said that she is the one who makes me smile. Now I am fifteen and she a year younger. She is popular, I am far from it. In truth, I have been suffering from chronic depressions since 2012. At many points through these years she has stood as a barrier between me, and, sadly I must admit suicide.
    Times change though, and now Alex is in High School too. When she came here, it seemed harmonic, I felt like I had found peace after two years. Soon enough, though, she had decided to move on, to become a part of the popular majority.
    This Friday we had an argument.
    She told me to look to the future, that I will be succesful, but also she said that I am too intellectual to ever fit in among the majority.
    I said I would take anything or do anything to help me ease the pain. I don’t want to die. Not now. Not for a while. I want to succeed. I want to be for a moment a part of the collective. To get closer to the girl I love (not Alex).
    I wrote a letter to her, this letter, which I think will never be sent, but I published to my blog, as I usually do when I write a similar letter.
    Then I dressed up and went to town. By now I know well enough where to find her, what bar the “cool” kids hang out at on a Friday night.
    I had to see with my own eyes Alex’s celebrated society.
    I walked in, sat down, and talked.
    A few words at a time.
    She didn’t even seem shocked, no one did.
    None of the eighteen people in the bar I knew were shocked.
    It was almost as if I belonged, yet, it wasn’t.
    I had nothing to talk with them about. They talked about future plans, parties the next weekend, and of course I didn’t figure it, not even then, when I was directly in their gaze.
    Was I invisible? Playing with a lighter, and adding a comment here and there I dare say I wasn’t.
    And I thought about Alex’s claim about fitting in. She and her best friend were the only ones to be drunk. A little joke to the older peers, my classmates. They paid for all their drinks, then with slurred words humiliated themselves.
    Fitting in?
    Alexandra Hunt.
    Never lie to me again.
    Even more so, don’t lie to yourself.

    Once again,
    Slade Wilson

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well I most certainly thank you for your response. I do apologize if the chatter on your page has been bothersome. But as I sat and read your words it put in me plenty of thoughts, my mind wondered and not only was I not sure how to receive your letter I definitely could interpret it in many ways. I heard in a song once “theres only one thing that the dead realize, its better to be alive” this among other thoughts ran through my mind when I read your post. Part of the art in being friends is to understand when to listen and when to stand and when to save. Sometimes we have to realize in our friendships how to appreciate the differences. Like they say I can only show you the water, I can’t make you drink it. God Bless I’m sure we will have many more conversations 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sorry It has taken me a while to respond. Saturdays and Sundays are reserved for all the other things I put off and of course a refresher for my writing. I will definitely check out the link.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow I didn’t even think to look at any of the tags. Very smart. Check out my page and you will see the response. I believe we all showed the attention that was needed. Otherwise giving hope to someone that was on the verge of loosing it. Thanks for your comment.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you for sharing this.. i have never been confronted by a sucide note.. but this ran a shiver down my spine..The emotions in the letter are intense and gather up your whole life.. i “believe” that everyone close to me are free enough to share their opinions and problems with me.. i hope and wish that such a day where i will be confronted with a sucide note never arrives..

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I definitely agree. I was real moved in reading this letter, at first I thought beautiful and after reading it again and letting the words actually sink it I thought this sounds very down. So I got the writers response and I am happy to announce if you didn’t see he is still alive 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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